


Tall, Blonde, Beautiful

by no_homo_hansen



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Falling In Love, Post-Episode: s08e02 A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, Pre-Episode: s08e03 The Long Night, Reflection, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-10 01:08:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18649837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/no_homo_hansen/pseuds/no_homo_hansen
Summary: Jaime reflects on his life, his love for his sister, and what changed him as a person.





	Tall, Blonde, Beautiful

For his entire life, Jaime remembered being in love with Cersei. He knew people would judge him, that people would think it was wrong. But truly, how wrong could it be? He was in love. And as expected, when the woman you love is not only your sister, but one of the most ruthless Lannisters Westeros had ever seen, his deep love for Cersei had gotten him in a lot of bother. He had been kidnapped by the young Stark boy. The young wolf, they called him. From what he had learned about Robb Stark while under his charge, he could very well agree to that assessment. The boy was born to be King of the North. However, just like his father- and himself, Jaime supposed - Robb put his heart’s desires and personal beliefs before what his people needed of him. Reminded Jaime of himself, really. He would have taken the world on, single handedly for Cersei. Eventually, he didn’t have a chosen, having lost his hand in a very unfortunate encounter with a Bolton knight. 

Actually, when he thought of it, losing his hand was the first time he had put himself in danger, in a way that wasn’t directly linked to Cersei, since he had put a sword in the Mad King’s back. Brienne of tarth was a bizarre woman. Taller than most men she had seen, a miserable look on her face, making already unfortunate face that much more difficult to look at. But Lord, did Jaime enjoy teasing her. There was something about the way she would look mildly flustered for a split second, before her entire body just  _ radiated _ annoyance. He genuinely wanted to see if one day she got so sick of him that she let him go, or even killed him. But that day never came. She put up with his teasing, flirting, insulting, all in the name of her oath to Catelyn Stark. She was disgustingly loyal.

Throughout the years, Jaime had seen changes in himself. Small ones, here and there. How as much as he was still at his sister’s beck and call, there was a small reluctance to it. Almost as if there was something pushing him. A voice in his ear, showing him what a horrible, twisted person she was, that he was simply blinded by love in the past and couldn’t see it. Another part of himself, from much farther down, told him he had always seen her for what she was, he simply didn’t care. He wasn’t a saint. He had pushed a boy out of a window. However, that was (once again) for Cersei.

But no matter how much he changed, Jaime could never say no to Cersei, no matter what she demanded. He was loyal to her, he loved her. He never was sure why he couldn’t get it out of his head when Brienne, so bluntly said, “Fuck loyalty.” Surely, thi wasn’t her. She was the most aggressively loyal person in the entire of Westeros. He told himself that was why it kept playing over in his mind. What else could it be?

“What we do for love.” Jaime didn’t believe it when Bran spoke out in his favour. Repeating those words that to the naive bystander would simply seem like an observation, he did all he had for the ones he loved. Little did they know where Bran had heard those words himself.

He had ridden to Winterfell with an almost renewed sense of self. Seeing who Cersei was, how far she was truly willing to go made him feel sick. A deep, guttural disgust at what his sister had become. He knew she was bad, but in that moment, he knew he wasn’t looking at his sister anymore. This was not the woman he had fallen in love with years ago. No, this was the result of years of abuse, neglect. This was a woman pushed over the edge into madness. He could not stand by her any longer. He could not live with himself if he stood by her side as she killed every single soul in their way, innocent or otherwise, all in the name of love. For him...for power.

In that moment, he wondered what pushed him to this. He wondered why he had suddenly gained some sense of morality. Ten years ago, he would have slain all in his path to lie with Cersei, be with her forever. What was it that had turned Jaime Lannister into a good man? 

The answer came to him in Winterfell. As he stood in front of Daenerys Targeryan, Jon Snow and Sansa Stark, explaining his reasons for being in Winterfell, he found himself saying |This goes beyond loyalty.” And turning to look at Brienne. All those years of seeing this woman, this mad woman, spend his whole life dedicated to other people, showing him he can be a good man just to turn around and say “Fuck loyalty”? He wasn’t sure how he didn’t see it before, but he truly was the man he had become, because of Brienne. And when she got to her feet and said she would give her life for his own, he truly knew he had made the right choice.

It was that day jaime Lannister truly gave up his old self. The proud golden Lion he used to be was truly struck down, when he pledged himself to fight by Brienne’s side. Never would a knight as prideful as young Jaime Lannister allow himself to be placed under another knight, let alone a Lady. But Jaime wasn’t that man anymore, and Brienne was not any ordinary Lady. She deserved to be a knight. Which is the reason that as they all sat before the fire, drinking wine and thinking about death, Jaime decided this was his chance. As Tormund tried, and spectacularly failed, to impress Brienne saying he would knight her 10 times over (which Jaime was 100% sure was a euphemism), Jaime sprung into action.

“Do you want to be a knight or not?” It was a challenge. He knew she wouldn’t just kneel immediately. But he knew how deeply she longed to be a knight. Almost as much as jaime longed to be with her.

As she arose, a knight of the Seven Kingdoms, the light from the fire framing her face, Jaime found himself looking at her in a whole new way, a way that almost felt familiar. Like home. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he found himself looking at someone other than Cersei Lannister thinking, “She is so beautiful. I love her.”

**Author's Note:**

> aah I hope you liked it! I honestly adore Jaime and Brienne, they're honestly my only real ship in the whole show. And the look they shared after he knighted her was honestly filled with such love that i couldn't cope. I also just got a new mechanical keyboard and wanted to write something to hear the clicking sounds haha. 
> 
> Please leave kudos and comment if you like! Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> edit: just watched 8x04, i've never been more excited then disappointed in my life. almost it makes this a fix-it ficc lmao.


End file.
